~ Follow my adventures as a super-hero cat and an eccentric food taster ~

Jun 30, 2010


CHAPTER 13: My First Successful Solo Mission ©

Most of my assignments come in at night-time, usually between midnight and dawn. On this occasion, I was advised that I would be required to attend a cat-show to keep a watch over activities, because the organisers had received a bomb-threat.

While most bomb-threats turn out to be hoaxes, a faxed threat had been received from a known bomber who used the alias "Katzenjammer." Up to that point in time, no-one knew his real identity, but he had carried out bomb-threats at least four times before this.

Headquarters told me that Katzenjammer hated people, and governments, but most of all, he hated cats.

As a cat, I would be able to fit right in, and hopefully nobody would notice a spare cat wandering around at a cat show. 

This was to be my first solo mission and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I flew into the location, several hours before dawn. I had hoped to catch the bomber in the act of placing his explosives at the cat-show marquee. But there was no odd activity at all, and I hoped this would turn out to be a hoax. Unfortunately, from what I had heard about Katzenjammer, there was little likelihood of that.

Hiding nearby, I waited till organisers and cat-fanciers began arriving early in the morning, and then sauntered over to the large marquee. Using my super-sight and hearing I searched out the likely places where the bomb could have been placed, but there was no sign of any suspicious boxes or packages which might contain explosives. I then began looking in the toilets, and even in the framework that held up the marquee.

As the cat-show began, I sent a message to headquarters to let them know that I had been unsuccessful so far. The need to ensure the safety of the humans and felines became more urgent, and I wondered where a cat-hating bomber might place the device.

Cat-fanciers and breeders from across the country had brought along their best felines. Categories included all of the usual breeds, as well as some exotics that I had never heard of before including: 

I wandered over to the exotic breeds in their cages to get a good look at them. Most of the cats were happy to have a chat, though one or two were quite snobbish and refused to even look in my direction. One even deliberately turned her head away from me and gave a disgusted snort. Obviously I was too common for her to even look at. I just laughed.

Some breeds didn't seem all that unusual other than having odd coloured eyes, or crinkly kinds of coats. There were a couple that looked like small wild-cats and the Sphynx gave me chills. Most of the time the Sphynx sat quite still in its cage. Every minute or so it lifted up a paw and licked it for a moment, before putting it back down again. It wouldn't talk to me either, but simply stared straight ahead. 

I was about to continue past its cage when it lifted its paw for the fourth time and licked it. It was exactly the same gesture it had used the previous three times. Narrowing my pupils I looked at it more closely. It looked like a cat, it sat like a cat and even cleaned its paw like a cat. 

"How strange," I thought, that it should just clean the same paw over and over. "Perhaps it has a sore toe."

A few moments later it licked the paw again. The same paw. 

I looked even more closely at it. Could it be possible?

Looking deeply into its pupils I spied a tiny spark behind its eye as it lifted its paw again.

"Headquarters, you'll need to evacuate the cat-show marquee," I communicated urgently to headquarters. 

Around humans I had to send the message in code using an in-built device in two of my back teeth.

"I've located the bomb. It's in one of the entrants that looks like a Sphynx. If you can get the people to evacuate, I'll try to find somewhere to dispose of the bomb."

Suddenly there was commotion at the judges table and one of the organisers spoke into a microphone.

"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. We have been advised to leave the area as a precautionary measure," she said.

"There's no need to be alarmed. Please exit as quickly and quietly as possible, and assemble near the front gates. We will restart the judging shortly. Thank you for your co-operation."

Competitors were quick to locate their cats and hurriedly left the marquee. I was not surprised to find myself alone except for the Sphynx. It lifted its paw again.

Somehow I had to get the cage out of here and away from the city as quickly as possible. I hoped that I would be able to take off so quickly, that no-one would see a ginger-cat flying off into the sky with a cat-cage in its paws. I had to take the risk because the bomb might go off at any moment.

Just at that moment, I heard a small click and a whir inside the cat. Grabbing the cage in my mouth, I dashed out of the back of the tent, away from where anybody was likely to spot me. Mustering all of my strength, I pushed off with all of the speed that I could muster and sprang straight into the sky and was away in a flash. 

Looking around me, the city sprawled in all directions and I desperately began to look for a safe place to drop my load where it could not hurt anyone when it detonated.

The cage vibrated a little and I pushed my speed to its absolute limit and very soon reached the Pacific Ocean. Taking just a fraction of a second, I flew well off-shore and dropped the cage. 

It seemed as if time stood still  - the cage with the Sphynx seemed to just hang in the air for a moment, and then it was falling and tumbling down and down, until it hit the water with a splash. As it began to sink beneath the waves, there was a muffled explosion and then a huge spout of water sprang up into the air and splashed all over me.

Headquarters called me and I turned on the communications link.

"What's happening Mal-Larci," an assistant said.

I couldn't reply because I was laughing so much.

"Mal-Larci is everything ok?" she asked again.

Trying to control myself, I managed to blurt out, "All ok. The bomb has been disposed of," and burst into laughter again.

"What's so funny," she asked curiously, "Have you been hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," I said.

"It's just because it's so absurd," I replied. "If a human being was to look in my direction with binoculars at this moment, they would see a soaked ginger cat, suspended in mid-air. I have water in my ears and up my nose and dripping off my whiskers, and I've just tossed a cat-bomb into the ocean."

She laughed and said, "Well it's not every day you see a cat-bomb!"

"Nor a soaked flying ginger cat."

Chuckling, I turned in the direction of headquarters and flew back to provide details of what had occurred. My fur dried quickly on the way.

From what I later heard, the cat-show was able to resume and no-one ever knew that there had been a bomb disguised as a cat, or that there had been a super-hero in the form of a common old ginger tabby. If only those snobby cats knew that I had saved their pampered bottoms.

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